How to kill a werewolf, pt 2

pages 14-15

Don't ask me how, but I was able to secure about a liter of Bill O'Reilly's blood from an undisclosed source (all I'm saying is he's on Fox and Friends and his name isn't Steve Doocy).  I've personally tested this blood-on-bullet theory against all manner of cryptozoological creatures, and I can vouch for its effectiveness.  Nothing else will bring down a werewolf, yeti, chupacabra, shapeshifter, or serial killer on the first shot.  The secret is that each drop of O'Reilly's blood is full of highly concentrated hate, found in levels seen nowhere else in nature. This toxic hate gets into the bloodstream of the creature, which leaves them paralyzed with rage over Obama's secret war on Christmas and unable to attack you.