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| page 18 |
A giant robotic, fire-breathing head that runs on cardboard boxes is either the lamest or the coolest thing you'll see all day, depending on whether you're at Burning Man or the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
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| pages 16-17 |
This is basically the contents of any 12 year old's brain.
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| pages 14-15 |
The only thing funnier than those Celebrity Jeopardy sketches from SNL is the time Wolf Blitzer was on and completely bombed.
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| page 13 |
In the not-too-distant future, all suburbs will be populated exclusively by the children of hipsters, who will live there as a form of rebellion. They will be sick of the conformity they find in the gentrified cities they were raised in and eager to get back to their white roots and experience how their ancestors lived a hundred years ago, which at this point in the future would be around the 1950s. What I'm trying to say is this: in the future, the suburbs will be even more unfathomably white (in every sense of the word) than they are today.
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| page 12 |
If DMX actually rapped about ancient Egypt, I feel like he'd be even more popular than he is now, if only because middle school teachers desperate to reach their classes of indifferent youth would play his concept album about the Book of the Dead and call it a day.
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| pages 10-11 |
It's summer, and you know what that means! Time to put on your favorite pair of shades and anthropomorphic inner tube and jump in the nearest body of water.
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| page 9 |
Party Lincoln is here to emancipate your lame-ass get together, and he brought a handle of whiskey to prove it. He's been raging since four score and seven blunts ago, brah.
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| page 8 |
Fact: if you can fit more than 10 gumballs in your mouth at once, you're probably Steven Tyler.
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| page 5 |
After nearly two years of soul searching and focus groups, the Republican Party is proud to debut their new, improved mascot: Some White Guy.
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| page 4 |
Yet another quality food product from your friends at Raskind Industries.
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| page 3 |
As you might expect, A.A.L. is not exactly a hit at parties, but it's not for the reason you think. He's super into Ayn Rand and nobody wants to hear about how much sense Atlas Shrugged makes if you just think about it.
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| page 2 |
It turns out that combining the head of a human with the body of a scorpion doesn't yield an effective killing machine so much as a creepy hippie.
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| page 1 |
Despite being raised by apex predators, Skittle's dad was surprisingly well-adjusted to the world of banking.
Someone needs to set aside a town for all the bros in America where they can go and bro out without disturbing the public. Maybe one of those dying farm towns in Kansas or South Dakota where only 6 people still live. Definitely someplace far from civilization. It would be a bro Mecca, the vacation destination for all stripes of douchebag, from the sleeveless t shirt-wearing redneck bro to the Beemer-driving investment banker bro. A place where they can dehumanize women and swill shitty lite beer and blast Lil Wayne to their hearts' content, so the rest of us can get on with the business of being decent human beings in peace.
It's time to crack open Volume II, The New Testament of Kraezofsky. This one features the newest and most sensational drawings yet!
