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| page 101 |
This concludes the third and final chapter of the Kraezofsky. If you feel anything like the picture above, that means you've read through properly and absorbed the cosmic wisdom contained in all three volumes. If this does not describe you, then start over and read through again. Repeat until you achieve enlightenment.
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| page 100 |
Whatcha gonna do when a tiny plastic racist wrestler comes zippin' past your face at 90 miles an hour on a mono-filament line stretched across the living room, brother?
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| page 99 |
Anytime you get bummed out over how thoroughly shitty mainstream culture is, remember that you are surrounded by awesome shit; you just have to know where to look for it. That's the tricky part.
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| page 98 |
I imagine that any time travelers from the future will inevitably come across as lazy dicks because they won't be able to stop themselves from trying to solve all our current problems with their superior knowledge just so they won't have to deal with our backwards culture. They'll be so exasperated that they can't just teleport everywhere they want to that they'll give us secret technological breakthroughs so we'll hurry up and invent it faster.
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| page 97 |
Don't worry, he's not dead; just masturbating.
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| page 96 |
It's just like that old capitalist saying goes: "If you're out of bread, just eat your locks. If you don't have locks, then eat some rocks."
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| page 95 |
Sure, you may have a fancy "degree" that says otherwise, but unless you've viewed a beloved film from your childhood while blackout drunk, you haven't really been to college.
