Dimetrodon

page 77

Dimetrodon is the best candidate! Only Dimetrodon will drive out the sauropods who crowd our fields! Dimetrodon will Make Pangaea Great Again! Dimetrodon 200000016 BC!

Hair fire

page 76

Hair fire is among the lesser-known classical elements, along with slightly-moist dirt, old pennies, and petrified fish.

My nipples are like diamonds!

page 74

If your nipples turn to diamond, the only thing you can really do about it is get a job cutting glass with those suckers.

Bear dick

page 74

I guess I'd be pretty excited if I saw a bear dick that large, too.

Snackbar Jones

pages 72-73

Some legends are so much larger-than-life that, to properly tell their stories, one would have to break the very boundaries of language itself.  Their exploits are so astonishingly superhuman in scope that one would be forgiven for confusing them with gods.  Their lives are so vast and epic that the fabric of the universe itself shudders with awe.  Snackbar Jones is one such man.

Tiny bucket

page 71

I wouldn't recommend sticking your hands into a tiny bucket, even if you're Paul Giamatti.  It's not as fun as it sounds.