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| page 98 |
I imagine that any time travelers from the future will inevitably come across as lazy dicks because they won't be able to stop themselves from trying to solve all our current problems with their superior knowledge just so they won't have to deal with our backwards culture. They'll be so exasperated that they can't just teleport everywhere they want to that they'll give us secret technological breakthroughs so we'll hurry up and invent it faster.
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| page 97 |
Don't worry, he's not dead; just masturbating.
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| page 96 |
It's just like that old capitalist saying goes: "If you're out of bread, just eat your locks. If you don't have locks, then eat some rocks."
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| page 95 |
Sure, you may have a fancy "degree" that says otherwise, but unless you've viewed a beloved film from your childhood while blackout drunk, you haven't really been to college.
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| page 94 |
These guys are beastly fellows, and if you ever encounter one, chances are you won't live to tell anyone about it. Keep your eyes peeled.
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| pages 92-93 |
The many inventions of Dr. Herbert DeWinters have saved countless lives throughout the years, and for that we should all be grateful. Where would we be without the laser-powered drill, or the goblin shield, or the quantum detangler? Dead, that's where.
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| pages 90-91 |
I'm kind of bummed that Lady Gaga's whole "Queen Amidala on mescaline" aesthetic didn't catch on in the wider pop music community. I get that it's an integral part of her uniqueness as an artist, but I'd love to see more mainstream teenybopper acts dressed head-to-toe in freshly-slaughtered goat entrails and bubble wrap as they perform at the VMAs. Maybe then, I'd tune in.
