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| page 35 |
Even though he repeatedly tried to suck out my life force through my ear canal, Mr. Metroid was still the best substitute teacher I ever had.
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| page 34 |
Make sure you keep any cloning devices you may own locked away during parties, otherwise you could end up with several dozen copies of one of your friends running around after he unsuccessfully tried to solve the classic sitcom dilemma of being in two different places at the same time.
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| page 33 |
The only thing worse than having no smoking papers is getting the ol' French skununder.
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| page 32 |
Fuck making art, it's too much work and nobody cares any more. I'm just gonna move to California and set up a Kickstarter for my one page movie script and let the power of strangers on the Internet work its magic. I'll be raking in serious cash in no time!
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| page 31 |
Volcanoes are nature's potheads, because they're always smoking. I got that one from a Popsicle stick. I wish I could come up with jokes that funny, I don't know how they do it over there at the Popsicle factory.
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| page 30 |
If you're going to ask rhetorical questions, make sure you act like you're a TV detective, or a celebrity lawyer, or some other profession where people talk like that; otherwise, you'll just end up sounding confused all the time.
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| pages 28-29 |
Whether you're exploring the farthest reaches of the cosmos or the deep recesses of your own mind, always remember where the appropriate switches are located. Your life could depend on it!
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| page 27 |
Every so often, you come across a human whose features make them seem like they're a fictional character come to life; like they originally existed as a sidekick in some kids anime movie before a lonely 8 year old accidentally brought them into our reality through some kind of wish-related magical spell.
