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| page 57 |
Bill Murray is probably the only human who could successfully integrate himself into literally any subculture with no problems. He could walk up to a group of Black Panthers wearing a white hood and they'd still want to hang out with him.
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| page 56 |
You may think you're a pretty long goblin, but have you ever stretched your body so it occupies every room in a house? I didn't think so.
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| page 55 |
Is it too early to start the nostalgia boom for 2010? Can we reminisce about the good old days when everyone was listening to Sleigh Bells and Best Coast and whatever other indie shit was cool at the time, and people treated the Tea Party as a serious political faction to be respected? On second thought, never mind.
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| page 54 |
You can be literally anything you want! All you need is a good imagination, a child-like sense of whimsy, and some powerful psychedelics.
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| pages 50-51 |
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| pages 52-53 |
In today's special double installment, we learn the habits of two of the multiverse's most unusual and charismatic creatures. All straight from the field notes of the Treasure Professor himself!
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| page 49 |
Not much is known about these mysterious plants, which are found in the lowland swamps of Borneo. They have a taste for humans and other mammals, and can only be killed by swiftly jumping on their "head." Upon defeating one, you are granted a golden token which appears where the foul flower once grew.
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| page 48 |
Making up your own slang is a great way to sound cool and talk shit about people without them knowing. Just try not to push it to some kind of Anthony Burgess level of complexity and you'll do fine.
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| page 47 |
It amazes me that stoners haven't adopted Koffing as their symbol or mascot yet. Instead of wearing a super-obvious pot leaf or Bob Marley tee, why not just get something with an innocent looking Pokemon on it? It's way more subtle.
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| page 46 |
If this was a real thing back in the 80's, George Lucas would be the richest human in history by now.
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| page 45 |
Dick flashlight is not a real flashlight and should not be used in an emergency. Accessories shown here not included. Requires 2 AA batteries (also not included).
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| page 44 |
Christmas residue is what's left stuck to your body after you have sex with a stripper. Or so I'm told.
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| page 43 |
I saw this guy walking in the rain one night, dressed in a banana costume. It was pretty whimsical until I noticed that he had mechanical claws instead of hands.
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| page 42 |
Larry the Cable Guy was never meant for American audiences, but instead, he was created for some foreign reality TV show. He's like a version of the "naive foreigner" Borat-type character that is from America instead of some "exotic" country. He's been openly mocking our culture and way of life for YEARS and we still haven't caught on to his act.
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| pages 40-41 |
Feel free to use this as an image macro when replying to assholes on the internet.
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| page 39 |
Saying you're doing something "for science" is hands-down the best way of justifying or explaining your actions to any curious bystander. Especially if what you're doing is illegal.
